The things that we usually value constantly change as time passes by. As a child, we may mostly value our mother’s care, friendship and love while as adults many people essentially choose good careers and social status as the most valuable possessions. It is generally believed that the system of our values is formed throughout our entire life and what is experienced during childhood in most cases remains unnoticed or unworthy. On the contrary, many psychologists connect our adult problems and complexities with childhood experience and the environment at home. Being more vulnerable and susceptible as a child, we react more emotionally and, probably, perceive the difficulties we face in a way that could be considered exaggerated if thought about it a couple of years later. Nevertheless, this is normally our personal experience that we accumulate as children and learning to handle it effectively can influence our future life.
The story I wish to share with you clearly describes how I first faced betrayal and what I learned from it. As a child I used to be friends with one guy, who was my neighbor. We had been friends since kindergarten and went to the same school were we used to be in the same grade. We also used to sit at one desk and had common friends. We celebrated our birthdays together and always expressed our feelings to another particularly when we grew angry. In times when we got bored or had nothing to do we used to call other and have some discussions. It did not take long before C.S. Lewis commented on our friendship and said, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person speaks to another.” I was astonished to hear this because I thought I was the only one who had fallen in such a trap. This was so true about us. I always felt grateful to reveal my plans and all what I knew to my friend. It also happened that our parents were friends and they considered us both as their sons.
This friendship had lasted for about five years before we entered the time of adolescence. This is true; the teen-age years are the tipping point in our characters and in our lives. However, it also happens that this affects not just our lives and our destinies. So, when it came to the time of choosing friends and our dress codes, my friend gradually started to change. He was no longer sincere to me. He did not always prefer my society to his new friends and seldom called me back incase I called in his absence. When we once went to the city center to watch some performance with my parents and his sister he just went away with his sister and never showed up again. It was such a shame for him to spend the evening with me and my parents. Our interests were far too different, as he once told me, and we did not have anything in common. It was painful to hear, and it hurt for a long time. I often cried, but never showed my tears to anyone. It was my personal lesson to reassess my views and to revalue the essence of friendship. I knew only one that, I would never betray a friend and offend someone like this because it hurts and truly it was not the way I was taught to behave.
This passed a lot of lessons to me not for the reason that I disappointed in friendship and also not just because I had not made friends before. On the contrary, I have learned to treat my friends with respect and love, but not to contribute too much of myself into this friendship. This is because you may never know how you will think of him or how he will treat you after sometime. I have also learned to be faithful and fair with whom I consider my friend. Having once experienced how it hurts to be betrayed and to lose a friend I do not want to be the one who does the same to anybody. This is life that teaches us these experiences and requires us to interpret it well to create good rapport with the people around us. We can either become stronger or turn the life lesson into our advantage or we can give up and suffer, complaining about our unfortunate fate and cruel world. This is completely up to us, what our life is and how we will spend the days we have.